This is an actual essay written by a college applicant to NYU in response to this question:




I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abrstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400.

My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week: when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.

I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.

I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.

(The author was accepted to NYU.)




583 thoughts on “This is an actual essay written by a college applicant to NYU in response to this question:

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  14. While many liberals champion Matthews for what he did this morning — his remarks received applause from the audience — many attendees here in Tampa took issue with his tone and his interruptions when Priebus tried to respond. (Matthews said he hasn’t talked to Scarborough and Brzeznski about their reaction to the exchange. “They had their own reactions to it. Joe has his own feelings; mine are totally different.”)
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  15. His choice? Political and financial support from Moscow, which has never been fixated on clean elections, or the gratitude of Ukrainians for leading their nation toward the EU, but with the obligation to hold an honest election that comes with it.

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  17. Scallopini: a fancy name for a member of the squash familyThere’s been a few leaves of floppy lettuce, although anything more exotic than than bog-standard cos seems to get eaten by clouds of green and blackfly.Rocket, radicchio, frisee anything remotely dark-leaved gets to a certain size (just too small to be worth eating) before it succumbs to the plague of beasties, the leaves draining of all colour in a matter of days.Must I go on? Even the spring onions are wilting. In my defence there’s been a handful of dwarf French beans, though how long they can keep going with leaves that look like paper doilies, I’ve no idea.I do also harbour vain hopes for the runner beans which flowered a week or so ago, but they are now locked in a race against time as the winter closes in. The first frosts are due in May.The truth is that only one plant has really thrived, and that’s a courgette which was gifted to me by a friend as a seedling. I stuck him in a small rose-bed since I didn’t have space on our tiny veg plot proper and I’d been told courgettes grow ‘anywhere’.And sure enough, it grew like a weed, sprawling ever outwards and upwards until the point that it looked like something that could once have lived on the edge of a primeval swamp.Secretly, I was proud of this over-sized ugly duckling and was to be seen clucking and fussing over it with mounting anticipation as it flowered, throwing out great golden trumpets which I was tempted to fry off in a light tempura.I resisted, and even prepared for Harvest Day by breaking out the recipe books Jamie Oliver does what looks like excellent courgette ‘baji’

  18. There are still plenty of tense moments. Summer, for example, brings particular problems. Residents are outdoors more, they’re drinking, they get cranky and combative. Police arrive to do their work, and conflict is hard to avoid. “When we’re taking someone to jail, they don’t always want to go along with the program,” Young said.

  19. Gagging Grenell was a bad play for the Romney team because it guaranteed the issue wouldn’t go away. The only way to dispel concerns about the man’s fitness for the job was to let him do his job. Muzzling him until he resigned was the worst possible way to handle it because all it did was feed crocodiles like Fischer.He had said we could save as much oil as we could get from domestic drilling if everyone maintained their cars and had their tires properly inflated. Now, that was hyperbole, but when conservatives, including his opponent, Sen. , tried to turn tire gauges into a symbol of Obama’s pointy-headed liberalism and the sum total of his energy plan (if only!), Obama stood his ground.

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  21. However, there remains?a sizeable threat that the Liberals could force a time-consuming and costly public inquiry that delays the new build. The idea that Chris Huhne will have to formulate regulatory policy and set out a timetable for nuclear is likely to be a considerable worry. Most destabilising is the fact that policy will probably not be clear for some time, for Mr Huhne is going to have to square his Department??s theoretical support for nuclear with his own views (in a previous speech on energy) that:

  22. 16.33 Following the report by Lawrence Tomlinson which looked at RBS’ lending to SMEs (see 08.28) the chairman of the treasury committee Andrew Tyrie has responded by saying that the report had made clear that “there is a fundamental cultural problem with RBS lending to and treatment of SMEs”.

  23. Much of this is as pro forma as it sounds, but the film adds an interesting wrinkle when it introduces an unnerving video game Ender plays that incorporates elements of his own psyche into the proceedings. An eventual meeting with Rackham, the hero of the previous Formic war, leads to the twists that have made the book’s reputation.

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  27. The action kicks off at 3:30 p.m. with the Division 3 state final between Dover-Sherborn and North Reading. At 5:30 p.m., Wellesley and Concord-Carlisle will duke it out in the EMass final with the winner earning the right to meet Algonquin for state bragging rights on Friday night. Then, at 7:30 p.m., Needham and Duxbury battle for the Division 1 state championship.
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  28. Goldson was penalized for unnecessary roughness for his hit on a defenseless receiver, Roddy White, against the Atlanta Falcons on Sunday.

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  30. Mason Crosby connected on a 32-yarder to cap Green Bay’s initial possession, which was the lone score of the opening quarter.Head-to-Head Comparison1st Downs1527Passing 1st downs913Rushing 1st downs491st downs from penalties253rd down efficiency3-7 (43%)6-14 (43%)4th down efficiency0-0 (0%)2-3 (67%)Total Yards216420Yards Per Offensive Play5.35.8Passing117284Comp – Att12-1627-38Yards per completion9.810.5Sacked (number – yards)0-05-17Rushing99153Rushing carries2530Yards per carry4.05.1Penalties – Yards9-747-95Turnovers04Fumbles – Fumbles lost0-03-2Interceptions thrown02Possession24:5035:10Houston, TX ( – Three of Sam Bradford’s 12 completions went for touchdowns and the Rams defense stood tall as St. Louis upset the Houston Texans, 38-13, from Reliant Stadium.
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  32. One worrying sign? Jim Metzler, vice president of Ashton Metzler & Associates, who was leading a workshop on SDN, asked the audience how many of their organizations had plans to contend with infrastructure change. As you would guess, the bulk raised their hands. Then he asked how many companies have plans for how the IT organization will change in kind. Only a handful waved.
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  33. I’ve had iOS7 on my iPhone 5 for the last 3 months and have to say that it’s incredible – as Craig Frederighi said tonight, it is literally like getting a whole new device. Airdrop, a redesigned Mail, quick access menu and the way photos are organised by location, event and time make for a brilliant new user experience. In terms of opportunities for brands, expect to see better Siri integration in ad products – particularly with the launch of iRadio later this year. Auto brands in particular should be getting excited about this given the handsfree connectivity it will allow.

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  70. Indiana is in the midst of a five-games-in-seven-days stretch that has already taken them to Detroit before coming home for games with the Bulls and Raptors. On Saturday, they head to Brooklyn, then come home Monday to face Memphis.

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  74. In 2011, French tax authorities raided Google in an investigation of whether its Paris office does sales work, and the country has asked the company for 1.7 billion euros ($2.2 billion) in back taxes. In Germany, where one advert told candidates for “Enterprise Account Manager (Munich)” that they would “seal the deal and help make the world a more Googley place”, one lawmaker said he would call for an investigation.
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  75. So where has the 33-year-old come from? Born in Guatemala, educated at Juilliard and a nearly 10-year verteran of the U.S. screen, Isaac has in recent years had supporting parts in big-budget pictures “Robin Hood” and smaller indie titles such as “W.E.” Hes been known only to niche fans. But that will change with “Davis,” which in a couple of Cannes screenings has already established him as an early acting contender when the awards hoopla gets underway later this year.

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